Thursday, February 10, 2011

A Totally Rambling Explanation of My Absence and Some Observations and Some Fun News and Then A Question!

Hello there, my damn wedding fans! Sorry for the totes lame title - I just couldn't summon the clever today. Also: Sorry for the lack of posting in the last couple weeks. My brain has been virtually bubbling over with fun posts to write but I figure I should start with an (admittedly somewhat lame and pathetic) explanation of my absence: I have apparently lost what I thought of as my exceptional ability to multitask. Maybe I burnt out in college, I don’t really know. I still have the ability to like, listen to music and read at the same time or, the always important ability to read blogs and stalk thefacebook while watching television. It would appear that my ability to compartmentalize (and successfully manage) my life like I did in college has gone the way of my ability to, say, drink to excess and then be a functional person the next day (like in college).

It could just be that for the first time in a few years I have a job that requires that I work at least 40 hours per week and more recently, closer to weeks in the 50ish hour range. To those of you with big boy and girl jobs (the kind that have, you know, set hours  during normal working times of day) you may be thinking: “What the hell, Mare. Those are not excessive hours” and you would be correct, loyal readers. You would be correct. It’s just that I work totally weird hours. From about 10 in the morning to anywhere from 9:30 to 12 at night depending on the evening with random breaks in the mid - late afternoon. This prevents me from engaging in normal big-boy-and-girl-career-world activities: like having a social life or a normal sleeping pattern or the ability to take paid vacation. Also, Fiance and I currently hold jobs in the region of South-Central-Bumble.

Really, the only normal adult thing I am capable of is: maintaining a relationship with Fiance long enough and well enough that he was all like “Let’s get married and stuff”. It’s a good thing he loves me, because I think most people would be like “You can’t even manage to pay your own bills without having a panic attack, why in the world would anyone be crazy enough to shackle themselves to that kind of crazy forever?!” But I digress. I am capable of having a very happy, loving, and mostly functional relationship with a man who wants to marry me. Planning the wedding, meh, I’m muddling through.

This brings me to the strange phenomenon of getting married when all of your friends are actual grown ups but none of them are getting married. My friends have big-boy-and-girl-jobs or are in school to have such jobs (the kind that add initials to the end of your name, you know, the bad ass kind) but are, with few exceptions, not really at the point where they’re perusing wedding blogs (except for funsies or as bridesmaids) and having to think about the payment options on a wedding dress. It’s weird - not bad weird or good weird. Just weird.

Not bad at all, because my friends (shout out to Bridesmaids, Lawyer and Dentist) are awesome and supportive and excited to help with wedding related things; but just odd. There’s not really anyone to say “OMG, we just bought our Save-the-Dates too, and here’s the cost break down of Magnets vs. Postcards” or “Bitch, you should have called the Board of Tourism to find out that the Fall Foliage Festival was the same weekend as your wedding before you fully committed to it, HAHAHAHA you are so dumb and no one will come to your wedding because hotel rooms will be too expensive”. (Ideally a friend wouldn’t actually laugh at me for overlooking something so completely obvious in wedding-world, but a warning may have been helpful. Also what my imaginary frenemy is saying is hopefully not true - the part about the people coming; not about the tourism. Because the tourism was good advice, frenemy, Good advice indeed).

What I said before about Fiance and I living in the middle of nowhere comes into play here as well. None of the movies about planning weddings involve doing it via the interwebs. They have fun montages with girlfriends/bridesmaids and cosmos (or something alcoholic, maybe some champagne, I don’t know), and like, mothers who are around to do stuff (even if in the movies they are usually lovingly, but irritatingly, and overbearingly planning The-Wedding-They-Wish-They’d-Had). My friends and bridesmaids are beautiful and wonderful and intelligent, but also not actually here (can’t blame them, like I said, this is South-Central-Bumble) and my mother is loving and wonderful but also absentminded and completely distracted by my crazy-ass-sister and the two year old grandson she lives with. And her fairly demanding full time job. Oh also, she lives in Florida.

But! That brings me to some fun things coming up in My Damn Wedding planning world! Mommy is coming! This is exciting on a few counts: I haven't spent any significant one on one time with Madre in legitimately 4 years; when she comes it will also have been almost a year since I saw her in any capacity for more than a couple hours. She is coming in mid-March from the 14 - 16 and …. Wait for it … actually, I’m going to need you to make a drumroll with your hands right now … she has offered to pay for my dress! WHAAAAAAT?! That’s totally crazy-town. And! And! And! I mentioned my budget but also that my dream dress was oh, you know, double if not nearly triple that budget and she said “Well, let’s not count anything out” …. DOUBLE WHAAAAAAT?! But actually it’s from her inheritance from my grandfather who died the day Fiance and I got engaged *whomp whomp* way to kill the moment right? But still, it is very much appreciated and I can’t wait to go dress shopping with my mom. Just like in the movies. Except without champagne because of stupid ABC laws.

** Also: to come in the next few posts, which I swear won’t take a billion years (or two weeks) to write:

     I go to St. Louis with Fiance and have dinner with the future-in-laws and FMIL becomes obsessed with my wedding colors being brown and PINK. Oh also, she does not give me the addresses. Still.

    I complain some more about people on the Facebook being more advanced at weddings and marriage and life than me. (Actual friend this time, I can’t unfriend her).

    I discuss the fact that I am, in the very near future, going to be a salaried employee. Also, will be paid to drink wine.

    And of course, hopefully the triumphant (if slightly traumatic - I imagine) dress shopping marathon with Mi Madre. Maybe I will have figured out how to add photographs to this crazy web-log thingy by then too. *Fingers Crossed*

Now for the question, if you haven't stopped reading : Dear readers, all ... 3 - 10 of you, what if I start doing shorter posts on a more frequent basis? And like the kind that involve showing you actual wedding crap and inspiration and stuff? Interested? Or is that not really in the realm of what this blog should be? Comments?


  1. Mare, you still hold the title to best multi-tasking ability for the random Wednesday night during sophomore year when you, me, and cuteguy proceeded to get drunk off of cosmos. Even though me and cuteguy had absolutely nothing to do but drink, you proceeded to make drinks, get drunk, andd write a publishable paper. I highly doubt anyone else can match, let alone top, that multi-tasking superiority.

    What's Fall Foliage Festival? Tell those people to celebrate that the weekend before/after...the fall foliage will still be there then. It reminds me of those random festivals in Stars Hollow - like Founder's Day, and the Festival of Living Pictures haha

    Brown and pink?!? ...veto

    Yayyy for Madre coming to visit and GETTING YOUR DRESS!!!!

    I vote for shorter, more frequent posts. It'll probably make our comments less of a blog on their own.

  2. I am already very jealous of your salaried job that includes you getting paid to drink the vino. Wine rep? Free samples for your friends in NC? K great.

    I un-veto Dentist Bridesmaid's veto on the brown and pink as long as it's a rose-petal pink and not like hot pink... but I really don't think for a second that you had fuschia in mind.

    UM, friggen awesome that mamabear is going to buy your wedding dress!!! that is AWESOME! Is the dress we found at Jingles still a top contender?

    ummmm I'm sure I'll have more to add later. I'm in a food coma at the moment.

    OH! Lots of little blog posts are good in my book :D yayyy

  3. ooh rose petal pink would be pretty actually.

  4. I think I did a brown and pink wedding. I will try to find it. Also, I am tickled pink (but not brown) that your mom is coming to help with the dress. Who's bringing the Valium?

  5. premade inspiration board @

  6. Okay, I feel I have to clarify: my wedding colors are not pink and brown. That didn't stop Marylu from pretending that they were ... but don't worry, I set her straight. Autumnal colors. I guess she can throw in some dusty rose if she must, but it will be minimal. Now I have to pass out because I return to the special hell that is working in a restaurant on Valentine's Day weekend.

    Also: Daddyface, hopefully no valium will be needed, but if necessary, my mother probably has some :)

  7. So my favorite color is pink and I may have to use brown and pale pink as my wedding colors when I get married. Just saying - don't hate, y'all.

    Autumnal colors are very much more you though I think, and will fit better into your relaxed wedding plan. I don't think you can be an easy going bride AND have pink as one of your wedding colors.

    Pink is sort of tied into the whole barbie dreamhousedreamwedding thing if ya know what I mean - and yes that's a real word.