When we went to Urgent Care, I was told that surely my toes would heal in a max of 4 - 6 weeks ... well, kids, we are four weeks out from the injury and there are now fewer than three weeks til my nuptials. As you would expect, given my luck, my bones are not healing. At all. Literally. I am particularly given to bouts of hyperbole and exaggeration but this is not one of those bouts. Upon reviewing my most recent x-rays the doctor said "Wow! These aren't healing at all!" He sounded super upbeat about it which momentarily made me think I'd heard "Wow! These are healed!" But since I'd been looking at my sad, weirdly floppy, still misshapen and slightly puffy toes for the past month I knew that his inflection was just very odd and that in fact I had the bones of a sad, dying elderly woman.
It's time to face the music kids. I've got an appointment with an orthopedist (/orthopedic surgeon - eeeek!) on Wednesday and I am putting off mailing my beautiful beautiful Badgley Mischkas until then. But I don't expect good news. I know that I can manage flats since I attended a wedding this past weekend and wore flats to that event ... but the heels ... well, I'm hoping I can take half a vicodin and a couple mimosas and fight through the pictures and swap them out for something more toe friendly. That being said, I have had to make some choices. I have a few flat, expensive (what?! I'm selling the damn dress. I want to keep the shoes. Plus what other life event will allow me to buy designer shoes?) Check these out:
|Badgley Mischkas, obvi, elegant but I think maybe sort of "old"? Plus the toe looks a bit pointier than my poor sad broken phalanges can manage. But I like them. They're cuter in person, though.|
I'll post after my orthopedist appointment - And now a shout out to my Mother and her awesome PPO insurance: Yay for Momma having reached her out of pocket deductible and therefore making my foray into orthopedic (possible) surgery not only possible, but free! Thanks for having good insurance, H.E.W!
PS. If you've read this far, here's a bonus picture. This is me "Dougie-ing" (look it up, Mom and Dad. Start with Youtube). With a black man, whom you can't see. With one 4 inch heel and one orthopedic shoe. The lovely girl behind me is my friend Em. That reaction is EXACTLY the appropriate reaction to the ridiculousness of what was happening. This picture is also a really good reason why I will NOT mix vicodin and day drinking with my wedding reception. Because this happens ... whatever "this" is: